I wish my mother would understand sometimes. That she should stop praising others' children in front of me. As if I don't feel worthless enough.

It's like she doesn't understand me at all.

She doesn't understand that. Just because she worked hard to get to where she is now, just because she had boys chasing her at 16/17, just because she's probably prettier than other mothers. She doesn't understand how I feel.

I'm sick and tired of hearing. "Oh, her daughter got into medical school." "Look at her! She's so pretty!" And even though I don't want to admit it, I still have to laugh it off. If I gave her a black face, she'd not be happy.

I'm not your ideal daughter. I get it. I'm not smart, not hardworking, not good looking. Fine. I get it. But you don't need to rub it in. I'm not girly. I hate dresses, I hate skirts, I hate wearing whatever you try to force me into. I don't want to wear contacts because I understand the risks of wearing it and I'd probably look stupid with it. I don't want to wear skirts, because it's hard to move in, and it's revealing. You want me to sit like a lady, but I'm not used to it.

Hey, but I try. I try hard to please you. I tried. But you see, some things can't be changed. You cannot change my appearance unless I go for plastic surgery. You cannot change who I choose to be.

Stop dragging my friends in as well. Stop saying that I get influenced too easily. I don't. I have my own stand. What I want to study, what I'm interested in. They are worlds apart from what my friends are interested in. I like unconventional stuff. You don't understand. You give me the look when I mention the word "bartender" or "barista" or "sommelier". Sure, these are jobs that don't earn much respect from the society. You think that only doctors/lawyers get respect. But do you understand the art of bartending? I'm sure I don't understand it fully either, but at least I do, more than you. Do you understand how much your daughter wants to be able to understand the human nature more? I guess you don't. But I won't blame you. This society is wicked, every adult's thoughts are manipulated by it.

I hope you would understand though.

I wish you would understand, yet, even shooting stars lie all the time.