Today it suddenly dawned upon me that we have already made it past half a year. Yes, June is long gone, and now, we are starting on our wonderful journey towards the end of July.
How much longer do we have together? Sure, we have all that time after Chinese O Levels to party, but is that really enough? To make up for the time we lost during the pointless weekends, to make up for the time we lost studying and burying our heads in books, to make up for the time we lost not being together?
I'm really scared. To step into that gigantic mental institution over the bridge of hell, to step into a whole new class with annoying pigeons of the other sex and to see totally new faces. I'm content with the friends I have now, and if I could keep it this way, I would. I would place all of us in a class and then we won't have to go through the tears and emotional speeches and letters at the end of this year. Heck, I just don't want time to pass so fast, I don't want to graduate.
Thinking back, what has made life in Nanyang so bearable? CCA was the one main thing during Secondary 1, but no longer anymore Secondary 2 onwards. Friends. Friends were the huge factor that made me not jump off any building, not break down as often.
As I'm staring at my Add Math pretest worksheet, I wonder, how many chapters more would we be able to learn together? How many more torturous Chinese lessons can we sleep through together? How many more P.E lessons are there to sweat to together? How many more recesses are there left to eat and chat together? As days pass by, the number decreases by one. Then, the number is going to fall and fall and fall, till we reach the number 0.
The number 0 never felt so intimidating before. Normally, to us, it means the end of exams, the end of a paper, the start of a new year, the end of holidays. This year, it's different, it would be no longer the same.
This year, 0 is going to bring forth a totally new meaning to me, yes, this year. 0 would mean separation.
Separation, how hard can it be? We will still meet each other! they said. But I dread that sentence the most, because eventually, everyone finds new friends and maybe, there, boyfriends. And soon, the distance between the classrooms won't be just 50 metres, but a kilometre long.
I fear that. I fear this kilometre more than that period of the year when I have to run 2.4 under the hot sun.
How I much time could stop. How I wish time would just disappear and never come back to stay.
