I can't believe. It's thursday already. Just 2 more days and it's all ending. I have so many things to say to all of you guys. I... I... Sigh.

Feeling useless all over again.

Why can't I do anything right?

Maybe it's just me, or are you starting to hate me?

Really tired and sunburnt. But it was fun, I guess.

Was rather emotional over some things - I don't even know what 'some things' were. Just felt super restless and wanted to cry so much, but over what, I'm still not sure.

Life's like that I guess.

Wanted to sit down and have a chat with everyone, but it was nearly impossible to do so with MM around and Cherin being so listless like that. Was really worried about her, like god knows what happened, but she cheered up a little in the end I guess, hope she's really fine :'D

Man, there were so many things we could have chatted about. But, I guess there are still many opportunities in the future.

Speaking of the future, I'm not sure any more. What to do. I don't even want to go to JC any longer. I'm scared we'll drift apart like they said, I'm really scared. What if we really do? I don't want it to happen. I don't want it to happen. Losing you guys would be like losing the world. I don't want a single one of you to leave. Can't everyone just stay by each other's side? I'm really scared. What if I enter that darkness I hated so much again? What if I end up being all alone again?

I don't want that to happen. I don't want this to end. Time, please stop, will you?

MSG was better than expected. Well.. let's just say it's a good end to a good year. Everyone worked hard and we'll continue to work hard. I know we all will.

Jiayou.

And so, tonight, I watched Bungaku Shoujo. And of course I cried. The manga was just so beautiful. But I cried worse when I watched the anime. That girl.

"I'm just 14, I still have time to try. It's fine."

But someone did it. And that someone was the only friend she ever had.

And I cried.

It's amazing how I can see myself in anime characters.

I wonder too. If I'm no longer human, because all the laughter and smiles, I think they are all fake. And one day, someone's gonna come to me and say: "Every word and action of yours isn't real!" And maybe I'll be so devastated and jump off the 4th floor.

Am I no longer human? Because one day when my tears run dry, and I'm can no longer feel, I'm no longer human. I think I've cried half of my tears already. How long does it take for the other half to run dry now?

Anime Review: Shin Sekai Yori


As this review is probably considered to be quite late since Shin Sekai Yori is already at its 4th episode, I guess it can no longer be called 'First Impressions'.

Even though Shin Sekai Yori is undeniably adorable and innocent at times, it's pretty scary when you realise that behind all that innocence, things are happening, without these kids knowing what is exactly going on. It's as if you might disappear the next day without knowing why.

Up till Episode 3, personally, I felt that the plot has been revolving around this power of psychokinesis itself. What would happen if you misused it? What would happen if you were weak? You'd disappear, as if there was some kind of invisible law bound to this latent power that had woken up within the human race. The story takes place in a seemingly country-side place, where technology is surprisingly, hardly seen, considering that it is after all, a thousand years in the future from now. And this raises doubt among the viewers, what happened to all the technology? The cars? The television? Everything seems too serene, too traditional for a story that takes place in year 3000.

It was only till Episode 4, when most of the truth was revealed. I have not finished watching the episode yet, but I've finished the part where the animal-library was narrating to them how this society was born. It struck me real bad, when I saw that these kids didn't even know that murder existed. Their reactions to human killing human, was one of, "How is that even possible?" It's not even a crime, because it didn't even exist. This is probably when signs of this society being a dystopia starts emerging.

The story is only getting started. 4 episodes aired, probably 21 more to go!

I guess I've said this many times. I am a useless person. I am probably the most useless person anyone has ever seen. I have no worth. I am worthless. If I were a slave, I would be sold for free. I am worthless. There are dumb blondes, there are geeks, there are blonde geeks. But I belong to none. I am not a blonde, a geek nor a blonde geek. Nor am I Adele. I can't prove myself to be worth of something. Haha. Pathetic, am I? The best thing I'm probably good at is acting. Acting that everything is fine, when I scream till I want to pull my throat out at home. "Why am I me? Why am I so worthless? Why do I exist on this planet?" These words ring in my mind 24/7. They frighten me in my dreams. They taunt me in school. "You are worthless" I guess no one understands. Who tries to understand? I am so sick of living. I no longer have any will to live any longer. Why can't people die when they're 16? I really can't hold on anymore. Not when I'm so useless like this.

Biased beach.

I should have known.

Anime.

I've been watching anime for the past 4 years. That's not considered very long if you compare me to those who have started watching Naruto, Bleach or Detective Conan since a long time ago. But still, I've realized how much anime has influenced and changed my life.

Just what makes anime so intriguing and addictive, I've always wondered. Perhaps its because anime always depicts the perfect world, where studies and parents don't matter. All that matters are friends, bonds and living your life to your fullest. That world is so perfect, when you step in it, you don't want to get out of it. It's like when you step into Universal Studios, you wonder, "Is this Singapore?" and when you step out of it, you're forced to face the truth, "Face it man, it's Singapore alright." It's that kind of feeling that makes anime so hard to resist. But of course, there are people who are 'immune' to manga and anime, because they think it's fake. I guess different people have different perspectives of things, since I can't understand how they feel about anime or manga being fake, I shall keep my mouth sharp.

Over the years, what I look for in an anime/manga has also changed a lot.

My first year watching anime was I guess a 'relaxing' year. It is this one year when I tried my best to catch up to the mainstream anime - anime that are probably the most well received. As for the anime that are released by season, I admit that, what I once looked out for were BISHIES.

I wish my mother would understand sometimes. That she should stop praising others' children in front of me. As if I don't feel worthless enough.

It's like she doesn't understand me at all.

She doesn't understand that. Just because she worked hard to get to where she is now, just because she had boys chasing her at 16/17, just because she's probably prettier than other mothers. She doesn't understand how I feel.

I'm sick and tired of hearing. "Oh, her daughter got into medical school." "Look at her! She's so pretty!" And even though I don't want to admit it, I still have to laugh it off. If I gave her a black face, she'd not be happy.

I'm not your ideal daughter. I get it. I'm not smart, not hardworking, not good looking. Fine. I get it. But you don't need to rub it in. I'm not girly. I hate dresses, I hate skirts, I hate wearing whatever you try to force me into. I don't want to wear contacts because I understand the risks of wearing it and I'd probably look stupid with it. I don't want to wear skirts, because it's hard to move in, and it's revealing. You want me to sit like a lady, but I'm not used to it.

Hey, but I try. I try hard to please you. I tried. But you see, some things can't be changed. You cannot change my appearance unless I go for plastic surgery. You cannot change who I choose to be.

Stop dragging my friends in as well. Stop saying that I get influenced too easily. I don't. I have my own stand. What I want to study, what I'm interested in. They are worlds apart from what my friends are interested in. I like unconventional stuff. You don't understand. You give me the look when I mention the word "bartender" or "barista" or "sommelier". Sure, these are jobs that don't earn much respect from the society. You think that only doctors/lawyers get respect. But do you understand the art of bartending? I'm sure I don't understand it fully either, but at least I do, more than you. Do you understand how much your daughter wants to be able to understand the human nature more? I guess you don't. But I won't blame you. This society is wicked, every adult's thoughts are manipulated by it.

I hope you would understand though.

I wish you would understand, yet, even shooting stars lie all the time.

Movie Review: Fairy Tail - The Maiden of the Phoenix

As a Fairy Tail fan, I'm proud to say that in this movie, it has successfully managed to bring across (once again), the true meaning of friends, and how important it is to have important and trustworthy friends by your side like it always has.

However, as much as I enjoyed this film, there were many parts where I thought were lacking. For one, the colouring for the animation wasn't really well done. Lucy especially, her hair colour was intolerable, but I guess that's one minor thing you can overlook if you were to rate the overall film. Animation was pretty well done and the plot was interesting somehow.

What I really didn't enjoy about the film was the sudden appearance of the evil guild and the lack of background given to them. They just appeared like POOF and disappeared like POOF. All we knew was that the leader of the guild wanted immortality, betrayed the narcissistic prince and tried to get a little of the phoenix's blood. I never knew the reason why he wanted it though. I thought if they could have added in that part, it would have made the movie slightly more understandable and probably even more touching. The time limit could have prevented them from adding in these details as well. As for the main character this time, Eclair, I bet some of us were rather confused when we first saw her. I bet most of the viewers thought that it all happened within the same time period. And in the end, she had already walked the Earth for 400 years - which brings us back to the question - Is Fiore that big? Did she need 400 years to make it to Magnolia and seek help? And the villians sure took a long time to start searching for that stone, and all it took was less than a week for the evil guild to hunt the girl down. Another really confusing thing about the plot was they never really explained what type of magic the members of the evil guild possessed. Dist, the leader probably had telekinesis, I'm not sure. The gun guy had machine guns. And the only female of the group could re-equip but also could 'neutralize' (I'm not sure) magic? All these weren't made clear to the viewers. I guess they could have done better in this part. As for the main Fairy Tail members, Natsu didn't have enough screen time to display more of his fighting spirit and Gray amazingly had a lot of screen time as compared to Natsu (not forgetting, Juvia as well). Erza's battle scenes were boring if I were to be honest and the only (useful) Celestial spirit Lucy summoned in the whole movie was Loke (for less than 20 seconds) and he never appeared after that. Throughout the whole movie, Lucy was just an emotional wreck and it wasn't exactly enjoyable since she is after all the main character. I liked how Makarov had a decisive role in the flim though, because I didn't expect that. More like, I expected Natsu to just totally kick that phoenix's ass and burn it alive. But sadly, he didn't.

Overall, the film was enjoyable, and I don't regret watching it one bit xD

Wan Xin

Today, I went to Universal Studios Singapore. Damn it was so fun~

Sigh. I really miss them so much ;A;

Hey Ahma,

I don't know how to comfort you using oral speech, but I feel I can better express myself here (:

Ahma! Don't feel so depressed okay! I know as the elder sister in your family, you have many responsibilities to carry, and sometimes, it's really stressful. I understand, because I'm an elder sister as well. I understand that I have to bear the responsibility of taking care of my brother, should anything happen. I understand it perfectly well.

But Ahma, you have to be strong. You are strong, but you need to be tougher than how you already are. Ahma, everyone loves you, you have everyone's support. You're not alone in this. It's okay to cry sometimes, just let it all out if you need to, because we won't mock you, we won't laugh at you. We're friends - we support you.

Another thing, don't be such a worrywart you Yappy. The more you think about it, the more stressed out you get! You'll be fine, Ahma! You will be fine. きっと大丈夫! Wan is always right, don't doubt her words (: Ahma you need to have more faith in yourself you toot. Don't worry so much okay? You're talented! You have your art, tennis and leadership skills, that will bring you much further than just pure academic results can in this 21st century. Believe in yourself<3 If I can believe in you, I'm sure you can believe in yourself as well.

I know it's late and you're probably asleep, but I hope when you finally see this, you can perk up, and face whatever that may come. Be it success, be it failure, Ahma, you know I'll always be there for you okay? :D

SO CHEER UP YOU TOOT/POOP/YAPPY.

WAN LOVES YOU >:D

Finally, the first episode came out last Saturday, and the second episode is going to be released today. As a huge fan of the manga since the end of last year, I've been constantly typing "Code:Breaker anime" into the Google Search box. Because, I don't think anyone would pass the chance to adapt this manga into an anime. 
And finally, it's out. Basically, Code:Breaker is about a group of law breakers who are allowed to break the law, by the law. They kill whoever they deem evil with their special abilities and that is what makes this series so special, because it all boils down to this one question: What is evil?

 In the first episode, we are introduced to the main characters - Oogami Rei and Sakurakouji Sakura. The first half of the episode was pretty bland, since they focused much on the school life aspect, about how Sakura was the ideal girl in many guys' eyes and how Oogami Rei transferred into the school (in hopes he could kill Sakura if she had continued to suspect that he was the killer of many people in the park she saw that night). Thing happen and well, first half - nothing much. But when it came to the second half of the anime, I was really squealing right through the whole thing. There was action, and it was interesting to see Oogami tear off his mask (his 'nice-guy' mask) right in front of Sakura and burning criminals alive. It then ended with a real cliff hanger (not for those who had read the manga though), when Oogami placed his hand right on Sakura's face and of course, wanting to burn her alive as well. 

I really, really, enjoyed the first episode, but there are a few things that I'm not satisfied with though. The voice acting cast and the animation. The animation seemed rather old school and really 2-D like (Of course, anime is 2-D), but if you compared the animation for Code:Breaker to many other animes like K or BTOOOM! Their character design for the anime doesn't stick closely to the manga, especially the females. Code:Breaker loses out majorly on animation and I had expected better though. Next, the voice acting cast, maybe it's just me, but... Even though we have Nobuhiko Okamoto and Youko Hikasa voice acting Oogami and Sakura respectively. Their voices just do not match their images. I hope Oogami's voice would man up, like honestly, and Sakura sounds just too man at times. It just takes time for their voices to grow on me I guess. 

It's hard.

NIRVANA.

I realised. I have never gotten praise from someone who has heard me sing.

Heh. Feeling rather insecure for L.A.

I don't really care anymore though. Just gotta get out there and try my best.

Compo, SRQ, Compre, Summary, let's just be friends for today.

Dear Moon Goddess,

Please grant me my wish tonight. I wish for the L.A Paper to be easy, but slightly challenging.

And I pray the essay questions are doable and I pray that the summary isn't too hard.

Dear Moon Goddess,

Please answer my prayer.

Wan Xin

Today was first day of the battle against EOYs.

It started off on a good note I guess, I actually enjoyed the compo writing process this time. First time I still got time left to zone off and just relax. Revision last night paid off. I am glad I studied heh. Hope it'll be the same for Paper 2 > <

Revision for IH and L.A hasn't been going well. I have 2-3 topics of IH to stuff in my head tomorrow and I'm not sure if I can do it in time, but I believe I can! I mean I did it in like 4 hours for Poverty in China, so why I can't I do it in approx 8 hours for 2-3 topics?

Wan Xin, gotta believe in this dumb brain of yours. Believe it won't let you down tomorrow. Hope I have enough brain space for environmental sustainability heh. Should I stay in school to get NI done?

Maybe I should.

Jiayou people!

Idk how many more days left, but it's 1/2 a paper down!

-sounds depressing- LOL

Life is never easy I guess.

When you're at the top of the world, people try to bring you down.
When you're at the bottom of Mount Everest, there is no way you can climb up to the top.

Wishing that life would be simpler and a little less stress would be like wishing that I can win the X Factor. That's right. Impossible. I wonder if I enter I can even make it past the auditions LOL.

Goodnight world!

Tomorrow's the first battle!

Why Chinese you like a battlefield?

Wan Xin

Went mugging with Ahma today >:D

Wasn't exactly productive, but I still managed to get quite a few things done here and there.

The people beside us were so noisy WTF. But there was some cute lover's spat going on, and I was like OMG SO CUTE, and Ahma being the oblivious prawn totally -.- didn't get it xD I enjoyed while it lasted. The guy was dedicated (Y) I approve of them being together :D

Ja'ne!

Wan Xin

NOT PREPARED AT ALL.