2nd
November 2012 – my final day in Nanyang. Today passed by really quickly. Went
to school at usual time, then we had the bye-bye pal ceremony, had class
cleaning, class closure, level closure and finally it was time for graduation.
At 4:30, we were all settled in the lecture theatre, waiting for the teachers
to cue us in. And at 5:35, they finally did. We lined up in a straight line and
entered the hall – where everything first started and where everything was
going to end.
At first,
it was just that nervous feeling – that feeling of receiving the certificate
from your teacher, and letting every single parent witness that you have
graduated from Nanyang, and that you are ready to cross the bridge of hell. As
I held the empty scroll in my hand, that feeling was surreal like, “I’m finally
graduating!” It was the mixed emotions of happiness and sadness. I didn’t know
how to feel. Things started turning a little light hearted as I went out after
being bored and I saw Denise’s brothers and Cherin’s sisters. But then, when
minutes ticked by and as person after person walked off the stage, that time
came. We sang the graduation song, and we sang Graduation Photo. That song that
bonds us together as one, that song that is able to jerk tears and memories. I
couldn’t take it anymore, and I broke down. And everyone around me broke down.
Well, females are fragile, it’s a fact you can’t deny. So, we all (well, almost
all) cried.
There are
many things I regretted though. For example, not being able to hug people I
wanted to hug, not being able to take pictures with many people. It’s weird,
because just for today, I wanted to avoid the camera as far as possible. I
wanted to be the one, in charge of taking down others memories; I wanted to be
the one in charge of creating memories that would make even the most
emotionless of creatures smile when they look at it and think back at
everything that has happened.
As I’m
typing this, my tear glands are being irritating and are threatening to produce
an overwhelming amount of tears that would run throughout the night. How I wish
I could have hugged everybody and spill out whatever I wanted to say, all the “thank
you”s and “I Love You”s. But I couldn’t. I wasn’t brave enough to. It’s funny,
because even on the last day of school, I still doubt my friends’ feelings for
me. Because I can be obnoxious at times, because I can be quite rude at times,
because I can be quite inconsiderate at times, I was still unsure. If they
really liked me as a friend, but if they really don’t like me as much, I wouldn’t
blame or cry, because I would be the one clearly at fault.
What I feel
for this group of friends is a special feeling; it’s a feeling that has
surpassed just the mere definition of what friends should feel for each other.
It’s no longer just mere friendship, it is love. No, I’m not lesbian. It’s
just, I love them so terribly. They’ve been there no matter what; they’ll never
backstab you no matter what. I don’t know. I just love you guys so much, I’ll
miss you guys so much and I thank you guys so much. For being the very first
group of friends I have ever trusted and relied upon so much in my entire life.
I love you guys, I really do.
As much as
I would love you guys to read this, but I don’t think everyone would anyway. My
feelings can never be expressed well enough unless I write a 5000 essay, but hi
everyone. No matter what, no matter which direction in life we’ll head towards
to, I’m sure we’ll stay as one. One round, one whole watermelon.
